yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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