We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
