Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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