I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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