So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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