He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
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i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
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A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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