He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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