No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
