just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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