when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
