i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
