and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
