her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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