I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
