Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
