Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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