Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize