sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
