I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
