please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
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He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
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I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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