It's just like the Real World with babies
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
