last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
