I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
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You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
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I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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