Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
