that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
