craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Randomize