im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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