Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
