there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
