I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
