"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
