can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
