dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
