So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
how drunk are you?
Several
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
