Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Randomize