I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
