youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
