guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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