just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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