im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
only you would photoshop your dick
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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