i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
