Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize