Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
