yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
