I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize