I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
