Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
