JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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