She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
