i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
