Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
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I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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