you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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