We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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