You really coming over, don't trick.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
