Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
tell me about the fingering
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