you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
